I have learned some new things these past couple of months. It has been very frustrating for me, but now I have more experience to share and I have learned more about my body and my tolerances.
As you know, I consider my Diabetes reversed, and by that I mean, I control it with food and do not need medication. Having reversed my Diabetes doesn’t mean I am cured and that I am normal and can go eat French bread and cheesecake. No, it means I can be free of meds and enjoy normal blood sugar if I eat the right foods.
If you are Type-2, chances are you already test your blood sugar at least once a day. I check mine every morning and most afternoons after a meal. The majority of the time my blood sugar measures in the 70′ – 80’s.
However, back in September I began to notice that my blood sugar was increasing when I tested in the morning. At first, I thought was because I was eating more protein than usual. So I cut back. And the number kept increasing slowly. I thought maybe it was the restaurant food I had been eating. So I cut back on that. And the number kept increasing.
So I had to come to grips with the fact that something was wrong. But what?
Coincidentally, around the same time I started to see my blood sugar increase, I had also started indulging in “Keto Fudge.” What is Keto Fudge you ask?
Well, it’s butter, cream cheese, vanilla extract, 100% unsweetened cacao and Erythritol. Perfectly Keto-legal, right?
Well, what started as one batch a week, lasting 4-5 days, quickly escalated to 3 or 4 batches a week by the first week of November. I was eating it everyday and lost control of my behavior.
Now, hear this, I did not gain weight.
In fact I hit my goal during this time period and I lost inches.
So, it wasn’t that this fudge was bad for me in that sense. On the contrary it is the ultimate fat bomb. However, the erythritol, the sweet taste hitting my tongue, was messing with me big time.
It was messing with my head.
It started out slow and then, before I knew it, I was in an addictive cycle of keto fudge hell. I was having a piece with my coffee and then a couple pieces in the afternoon and then another in the evening.
It was causing me to crave not only more keto fudge, but I was finding myself “hungry” more than my typical twice a day. I recognized about midway through the keto fudge journey that I was struggling.
But I didn’t stop.
Instead I started shoving it off on my husband, who willingly ate it. But then, I would just make another batch. When I repeatedly told myself, “This is the last batch for awhile.” and then couldn’t stick to it I knew I had a problem. Writing this now, it is so obviously addictive behavior. But when I was in the middle of it, I didn’t see it.
I didn’t want to see it. Something had to make me see it, so I could quit.
What cemented to me that I had to quit, was that my fasting blood sugar continued to rise. Instead of 70s and 80s in the mornings, I was seeing 90s. I even saw five days over 100.
That was the final straw.
I stopped trying to blame it on protein and stopped trying to blame restaurant food. Nope, it was the fudge – the erythritol. Erythritol has a zero glycemic index though, so why was this happening to me? I submit that the sweet taste hitting my tongue, deceived my brain and then my brain communicated to my body and wham – rising blood sugar.
The rising fasting blood sugar was stressing me out. Except for the few days it was over 100, it was still “normal” but it wasn’t the normal I liked. I prefer being under 90. I am now nine days without erythritol and my numbers are coming back down and the scale even went down .8 below my lowest weight.
So, anecdotal? Yes, but for me, conclusive evidence of what track I need to stay on.
This journey is ongoing and I am constantly learning new things about myself, my body and my addiction. I have not arrived, I will not arrive. I have to be ever vigilant about my health an make the best food decisions possible.
Am I saying I will never have Keto fudge again?
It’s highly unlikely that I will since the combination of chocolate and sweet is my enemy.
However, I don’t have the same issues with keto muffins or keto pumpkin cheesecake so having those now and then and on holidays is probably going to happen, but chocolate and I have had a lifelong love affair that just needs to end. It pains me to say it and it feels sort of like a death. I am somewhat in mourning, but just like I can live without French bread and real cheesecake, I can live without keto fudge.
Oh, and so can you.