Making changes that are permanent can be hard when you aren’t all in. To be all in you have to be willing to change. You can’t just say you want to change, you have to really want to change.
I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it, the food part of keto is simple. There is a list of what you can have, a list of what you shouldn’t have, and a list of absolutely-flipping not. Most of us know what those are. (If you don’t, sign up for the newsletter -> and you’ll get a list of foods that are ketogenic).
Where you get tripped up is in your head. When your mind isn’t right then all sorts of things are allowed to creep in and mess us up. When your mind isn’t right you:
- Let friends and family influence you negatively
- Think about cupcakes all the time
- Go down the road of food fantasy when you drive by McDonald’s
- Talk yourself out of working out
- You say things like “I can’t” or “I always”
- You justify your bad choices instead of owning them
So, how do you handle the friends and family that say things like, “Oh come on, live a little, it is just one bite (or one meal/day/cheat etc)?” What should your response be? As an addict and someone who proved over and over for years that there was no such thing as self control or one bite, I flat out say, “There is no such thing as one bite for me and I AM living a little thank you very much.”
Yes, by choosing not to partake, not to indulge, not to cave, I am living! This is the life! I feel good, I look better, I am off meds and nothing, not one bite of anything tastes as good as that feels. I don’t want to be the person who feels she has to eat crap food to “live a little.” Honestly, that sounds sad. I missed out on so much for at least half my life because I thought food was my pleasure and joy. Nope. Never again.
Food fantasy is just something we have to reign in. When you catch yourself reminiscing and thinking fondly on that Hershey bar, remind yourself that eating that will not get you what you really want. You won’t get healthy and to goal weight by eating Hershey bars. Sure, you could do what I did for years – you could be a calorie counter and work that Hershey bar in to your calorie count. And you can continue to suffer from cravings, stay addicted and constantly have to employ will power. We all know that isn’t sustainable.
Watch your language. Don’t say, “I don’t know what is wrong with me! I just can’t do this! I always fail.” If you are saying it, your mind is believing it and our actions follow our thoughts. Just don’t go there. First there is nothing wrong with you that can’t be fixed if you just change the way you talk and think about yourself and food. You have to tell yourself daily, if not hourly or minute by minute that you CAN have what you want, that you CAN change for life. Say it. Believe it. Do it.
Do not make excuses, do not justify your choices – nobody believes them – not even you. There is no person, no event, no situation, no food that CAUSES you to fail. You alone are responsible for your choices and you alone are in charge of what you think, say and do.
So say what you want, believe you can do it and your actions will follow.